(I am just having some fun here. Please see the FAQ if you are looking for useful information)
(1) Distracting your opponent with (friendly) banter is positively encouraged. Shushing will be frowned upon and anyone using the Mute Opponent function in chat will be considered a grump.
(2) The second rule of chess club is... we don't talk about chess club.
(3) Using Engines to cheat during games is strictly forbidden and anyone caught will be placed in manacles, made to walk in shame and pelted with tomatoes in a public place of our choosing. Seriously though, Lichess has it's own Engine-Detection software and will automatically impose a life ban on anyone caught cheating. We will then hire a lawyer to defend you but don't get your hopes up.
(4) Skyping or Zoom conferencing other players during a match will be deemed antisocial unless you invite everyone else to your party. Only salty popcorn is allowed; sweet popcorn is an abomination.
(5) Failure to keep more than 2 metres apart at all times during online Team Battles is considered a breach of health and safety regulations. Why do you think we're here in the first place? This also applies to your teammates. If you happen to be playing in the same room during a match, you clearly do not understand social distancing or the concept of online chess.
(6) Eating during matches is allowed but please avoid foods with strong odours, as a courtesy to your opponent. Sauerkraut and onions is definitely out of the question.
(7) Choosing a silly name for your Team is not compulsory but may be rewarded with Platinum Membership. Please keep it clean if using rap lyrics in your team name.
(8) If you have to go to the toilet during a match, it is considered polite to lie to your opponent and ask them to excuse you while you sort out a technical issue with your computer. Remember to turn off your webcam first.
(9) Bronze, Silver, Gold and Platinum Memberships to the League of Mayhem are available upon request. However, we will probably reject your application if we can’t find any forms for you to fill. This is usually the case.
(10) In the event of a serious code violation, the League of Mayhem reserves the unequivocal right to heavily chastise members found guilty of breaching the Rules. By this, we mean you will be looked upon with a furrowed brow, branded as suspect, made to stand in the corner and write ‘I must try harder’ 100 times on your ipad. Times have moved on and we like to incorporate technology whenever possible. However, we do not supply stencils; you must bring your own.